Word War III: The Phonetic Fiasco

It started innocently enough, a simple game of Word War between two linguaphiles, but quickly escalated into a global catastrophe. The year is 2023, and the world is on the brink of chaos.

Causes of the War:

• The Great Vowel Shift of 2020, which left millions of people unable to pronounce 'squirrel.'
• The rise of TikTok, which led to an epidemic of poorly-documented memes and an increased reliance on autocorrect.
• The invention of the 'Selfie Stick,' which allowed people to take selfies of themselves making duck faces in the most inopportune places.

As the dust settles, we're left with a world where words are a luxury, and the only thing that matters is who can shout the loudest.

Key Players:

• President PronounceItRight
• General Mispronounce
• Professor Pronounce